Meet Hola. She’s a nightmare, but it’s not her fault if she tackles strangers and chews on furniture, or if she runs after buses and fried chicken containers and drug dealers. No one ever told her not to. Worse yet, she scares her family. Hola may be the most beautiful Bernese mountain dog in the world, but she’s never been trained. At least not by anyone who knew what he was doing.
Hola’s supposed master, Marty, is a high-functioning alcoholic. A TV writer turned management consultant, Marty’s in debt and out of shape; he’s about to lose his job, and one day he emerges from a haze of peach-flavored vodka to find he’s on the verge of losing his wife, Gloria, too, if he can’t get his life—and his dog—under control.
Desperately trying to save his marriage, Marty throws himself headlong into the world of competitive dog training. Unfortunately, he knows even less than Hola, the only dog ever to be expelled from her puppy preschool twice. Somehow, together, they need to get through the American Kennel Club’s rigorous Canine Good Citizen test. Of course, Hola first needs to learn how to sit.
It won’t be easy. It certainly won’t be pretty. But maybe, just maybe, there will be cheesecake.
Martin Kihn Martin Kihn was the nicest guy in the world – and it was killing him. But on the day he turned forty, Marty decided to change his life – for the meaner. Tired of being passed over for promotions at work, Marty set out on a journey to transform himself from Mr. Nice Guy into a rule-breaking, order-giving d******d like the Marty Kaan” character played by Don Cheadle in the Showtime series House of Lies, based on Kihn’s book of the same name.
A*****e is the story of Kihn’s ascent from Beta Male to Alpha Male to A*****e. He shares the techniques that helped him hone his image as a jerk, including the essential body language (don’t smile, unless others are in pain); covers typical activities (credit stealing, getting even); and delineates classic behavior patterns, including speaking loudly and interrupting often, and insisting you’ve never, ever made a mistake.
From acting lessons to boxing lessons, from hiring a life coach to covertly observing his nemesis at work, Marty develops the Seven Principles of Assholism. But will it be enough to earn him a promotion? Or will he alienate others to the point where his own wife won’t be able to stand him?
Martin Kihn Kurz nach seinem vierzigsten Geburtstag befindet sich Martin Kihn in einer handfesten Krise: Sein Boss will ihn feuern, seine Frau droht, ihn zu verlassen, er selbst hat jeglichen Lebensmut verloren. Außerdem sorgt Martins heißgeliebter, aber ungezogener Vierbeiner ständig für Ärger, so dass Herrchen beschließt: Die stürmische Paulasoll auf die Hundeschule und endlich Manieren lernen. Ganz nebenbei wird Martin mit dieser Aufgabe klar, wie er sein eigenes Leben wieder in den Griff bekommt. Und wie er seine Frau davon überzeugt, dass wirklich jeder eine zweite Chance verdient hat ...